I've been giving some more thought as to why anal sex is more intimate for me. I know I'm not alone so it would be interesting if any of these strike a chord with anyone out there.
I'd touched on it in an earlier post about the surrender aspect. I'd written that without thinking to deeply. At heart, I've now realized, I'm really quite submissive. I don't mean weak, or down-trodden in any sense. I just get quite charged and emotional by giving my self up to someone I love and trust. It's a strange thing when you think about it; both safe and vulnerable at the same time.
Another powerful aspect that only anal sex provides for me is the physical impact, which is more raw and immediate. Something that cannot be ignored, almost something endured. Even as I'm being penetrated I'm asking myself do I really like this, but at the same time always coming back for more and loving that feeling as he gets all the way in. Afterwards, when he's withdrawn, I really notice his absence in a way I never do after vaginal sex. Yet at the same time feel him for hours.
It's these things that make me feel so connected to him. That and we've shared something so special. Perhaps I suffer from a surfeit of empathy because knowing that he's having so much pleasure makes me soar so high.
I too love the surrender. It isnt just mental, its physical there too - there's a resistance there sometimes (he's quite large) and only by completely relaxing and 'surrendering' do I feel him start to enter me. It always suprises me how intense it is, and what a balance of concentration/pleasure/effort it is. I dont want to say discomfort, its not quite that exactly (if I wasnt super turned on at the thought of him being in me back there, it'd be discomfort).
ReplyDeletei agree on the absence thing too - when he pulls out im immediately grasping for him back there, it feels like he's leaving a big empty hole in me.
I often feel a kinda ache back there, like something's missing, like he's missing from me - and I just want to feel him filling me back there again - it's a low grade very deep kinda desire, not so much a conscious-level passion, just this kinda longing. I dont even think my pussy gets wet thinking about that, it's entirely about me in back, gets me horny back there.
Thanks for sharing.
DeleteYes, that's exactly it - Something missing. Once you've grown accustomed to frequent anal sex then there is often this need for the "next time". And finding myself thinking about it at odd times. It's a strange thing, like afterwards I can't remember exactly how it felt and so need to do so again just to remind myself.
how frequently do you engage in it?
DeleteYou're straight to the point!
ReplyDeleteWhat I was getting at was how you change are doing something often enough. I think its called conditioning. I meant it to be "frequent" in the sense of being a regular thing, as in not occasional.
You are probably after numbers, which doesn't often make sense as you can't compare one couple to another and think they must be having sex the "correct" amount. In reality it's always some kind of trade of between the rest of your life, stress, how much it means to your partner etc etc.
If the numbers really mean that much to you I'd say somewhere around 2-3 times a week. DH would usually like more, I'm not so needy so that's a balance we've found at this point in time.
Well i'm a man and most of your post could have been written about me. I know for many its about the pleasure and thats true for me too but it also happen at another level. Its just like you describe but coming from the other angle. Her being submissive and offering her ass is huge turn on which makes me feel very special. And knowing she can feel everything. Nothing else can come close to that level of intimacy. And just like you i'm often thinking about it for days afterwards. Its something i need to make it work when i'm in a relationship but sadly most women arent as open as you are or ready to have as much anal sex as i need :(
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting this Jenny. It's not often you find this subject discussed. Mostly it's about men and how they feel, and they neglect (or are unaware of) the genuine arousal and those other emotions that anal sex brings out in women.
ReplyDeleteIt is something we do about once a week, not every time. I'll curl up in a little ball, on my side while my husband enters from behind. Always that little "pop" makes me wince. After that he just thrusts slowly until he comes. All the while I'm transfixed; a mixture of feeling incredibly safe, loved and elated. While it can be pleasurable in a strange way the joy is really in the giving and the closeness.
Thanks for commenting. That's partly why I started the blog, because while there are many pages with advice on how to have anal sex I found virtually nothing about what it means or why women are motivated to have anal sex.
DeleteI know just what you mean about the initial entry, even after all this time it can be a delicate operation. But the body soon remembers.
I'm like you, maybe 50/50 on the physical/mental side. You can feel incredibly connected to him which does give that unique mix of feelings you describe.
The intimacy is what makes anal so damn erotic. Just thinking "I'm in her ass!" "She's giving me her ass!". I think women are sensitive to how their man reacts, so you get this kind of feedback. It's intoxicating. Takes sex to another level. So I'm not ashamed to say I'll take anal when it's offered over the alternatives.
ReplyDeleteBut is that intimacy or just excitement? I'm learning I think that intimacy maybe means different things to different people, or between men and women.
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